We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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