if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
