I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
