out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
