My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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