so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
