he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
