You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
our cab driver is having phone sex.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i would one night stand the shit outta him
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
