he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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