He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
