I think my vagina is haunted
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Randomize
