it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
