how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Why are your pants in the freezer?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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