We need to rekindle our bromance
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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