I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
