Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
