thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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