Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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