What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
