i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
