And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
