I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize