I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Randomize
