fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
this boner is exhausting
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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