Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
it hurts more in the daytime
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
