Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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