My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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