just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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