Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
