So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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