Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
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