i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
NoShamevember. You game?
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Randomize