arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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