I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
