so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
