I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
