they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
