We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
