It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
