i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
