He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Your dad touched me again.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
