cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
