Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
