I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Randomize
