You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
