Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
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