standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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