Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
