my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
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