I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
